welcome to the night.

ugggh i hate these blogs.  the obligatory blog that has to cover SO MUCH important material, being that the reason you haven't blogged in forever in the first place is because of all the crazy and meaningful things that have been taking up your time.

alas, i will try to be brief (especially as it is 81 degrees out right now).

1. SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS

take-my-breath-away, heart-stoppingly amazing.

a year's worth of thought.  of casual mentions or deep dissections.  always something that was coming up in the future.  something to anticipate, something to work for.

and then it was postponed, perhaps even cancelled.  what if it had been cancelled?  never ever seen or discovered?  it makes me shudder to think of it.

so i finally got to meet jj hunsecker.  sidney falcone.  susan.

ok, if you don't know what i'm talking about, i am referring to rockford college's sweet smell of success, which was kyle's senior seminar show.  it has been a year since kyle found out he would be playing this role.  a year's worth of thought, research, complaining, working.

and thursday night, i sat in the audience.

and i have decided that i am an incredibly lucky girl.

i'm lucky because i watch musicals all the time.  and musicals are magical.  i don't care who you are; you cannot - CANNOT - say that musicals don't move you.  pick any part of the magic:  swelling music, haunting melodies, beautiful story lines, the dancing, the movement.  i don't see how you can sit through a musical and not be moved.  and frankly, i pity the person who can't be moved.  what a sad life it must be to sit through a musical and feel nothing.

i'm lucky because kyle d. adams is my boyfriend.  and it's the coolest thing to date an actor.  just when you think you know someone, they show you this new layer, this new character inside of them.  and its like you get to rediscover their personality.  and i'm lucky to have kyle because he introduces me to all of these new and beautiful stories and all of this new and beautiful music.  my life would be so stripped of its beauty and culture if not for him.  not to mention i would be a sorrowful girl without him.

as i watched this gripping, dark, and compelling story, i completely fell in love with the characters, the era, the music, and the costumes.  like, to a notably obsessive level.  sweet smell of success was all i thought about for a solid week after the performance.  job well done EVERYONE.  i was moved, transformed, amazed, spellbound.

which brings me to....

2. ANOTHER SUMMER PROJECT

i'm about to shock you.

ok, so picture me, amanda.  i know all the little things come to mind, but no matter how you know me, i'd like to think that you all would definitely think of my passion for all things vintage.  it has always been an obsession of mine.  i love all things 20's, all things glamorous, all things 40's, 50's, everything.  photography, fashion (especially), culture, language, artifacts, music: EVERYTHING VINTAGE.

so guess what.  i've barely seen ANY old movies.  i mean, besides wizard of oz, i don't think there is any other movie that i've seen that was made before 1970.  honestly.  gone with the wind?  nope.  casablanca?  nope.  streetcar named desire?  nope.  NONE of them.

shameful, i know.

so my new and exciting summer project is to brush up on all the old movie classics.  i want to know the stars, see the clothes, hear the music, experience exactly what used to entertain the masses.  i find it all so fascinating, beautiful, romantic, classy, and glamorous.  

kyle and i already started with fred & ginger's last movie together, the barkley's of broadway.  it was wonderful.  incredible.  i wept like three times during it just because of it's sheer vintage-ness..  i

this project is LONG overdue.  i can't wait to fill my nights with a million yesteryears.

3. WILLY WONKA

it's over!!  and it was great.  well, depending on who you ask.  if you ask me, i wanted to kill myself though every show.  missed entrances, dropped lines, slow set changes, sound problems.  but the audience and community LOVED it.  and i really realized that it was about the EXPERIENCE, not the process.  at the end of the day, i had kids singing their hearts out onstage.  i had built a camaraderie between my cast members.  i had gotten my students to show up.  to memorize lines.

my boss was ecstatic, and that was a GREAT feeling.  this experience has left me feeling proud, and i'm going to embrace that for a little while.  this is the first time i have felt proud of myself in my career and its a damn good feeling.  i am so happy with this year at ellis arts academy and I CAN'T WAIT for next year.  

wow.  that wasn't too bad.  i'd like to close with some sort of conclusive paragraph that links these three topics together into something witty and meaningful, but as i already stated, it's 81 degrees outside.  and i have a hot boyfriend in a straw fedora sitting next to me.  and a cold beer to drink.  so i'm out.

summer to-do.

1. CLOSET CLEAN-OUT SALE

i am taking the first week of summer to purge - i mean PURGE - my closet.  i have SO many clothes.  really.  it's out of control.  

i hardly ever buy things at full price, which i have found to be detrimental to my wallet and closet space.  i would rather buy 3 so-so shirts at 6.97 each than 1 awesome shirt that i LOVE at 24.00.  what i take home, then, are 3 so-so shirts that rarely get worn and take up three times the space of the 24.00 shirt that i would wear all the time.  i would rather buy jeans that "work" for 13.00 rather than jeans i LOVE for 40.00.  another pair of jeans thrown on the pile, hardly getting worn.  i would rather buy a hundred sundresses than ten really pretty ones.  it seems, apparently, that i would rather hoard shit than collect treasure.  how do i stop?!

i am hoping that i can find the answer with a closet clean-out sale.  if it hasn't been worn this year, it's gone.  if it's imperfect (kinda baggy, too short, etc.), it's gone.  anything that makes me look at it and not love it is reason enough to sell it.  i want my closet space back.  i want to open the closet and see luxurious clothes that i love and can't wait to mix and match and wear.  right now i feel like every day is a battle to search for the perfect combination.

the profits will NOT go to a new wardrobe.  well, maybe.  i am trying to be a better shopper.  before i buy an article of clothing, i ask myself this question:

"amanda, would you rather have 12.99 or this button-down?"

"would you rather keep the 5.99 or own the flip-flops?"

sometimes (ok most of the time), the "question system" backfires.  cause as i am standing in the store, no doubt in front of the clearance rack, it's hard to argue keeping 5.99 when you could have another target shirt.  a target shirt that will inevitably lose it's shape and sink to the bottom of the drawer.  

i think it's something about the newness of clothes that i love.  just knowing that it's BRAND NEW makes me want it.  never washed, never paired unfortunately with a skirt that will make you sort of hate it forever, never thrown on the floor, never seen by anyone i know.  newness is a horrible thing to be addicted to because it disappears almost instantly.  in fact, i'm not even to the parking lot yet and the article has lost it's appeal because i don't WANT it anymore.  

how do you fix this addiction!?

i'm hoping the yard sale will help me refresh my outlook and become a wiser shopper.  quantity is no longer quality.

so HEY!  if you'd like to come check out my sale, it will be at my parents house the second week of june (probably).  i want that to be the first item i check off my list of summer to-dos.  there will be lots of shoes, purses, dresses, clothes, home decor, maybe even some seasonal stuff.  reasonably priced and probably almost brand-new.

::sigh:: i'm feeling relieved already.

2. A MORNING ROOM

with AP moving out, i will be losing a table in this sort-of "undefined" room in my house.  with that table gone, i will be gaining a blank canvas.  after tossing around some ideas, i think i have finally settled on the idea of a morning room.  i came across the notion while idly scanning through an internet search of "vintage rooms".  i saw a photo titled "1920's morning room", which then led me to google "morning room."  what a quaint idea!  granted, morning rooms are for grand mansions or affluent folk, but who's to say i can't design one in my cute little apartment?!  so i imagine that my morning room will include  a comfortable place to sit and eat breakfast together on the weekend, or a place to relax a read a book or pay bills.  i'm thinking a chaise with an end table and a cafe table.

3. A NEW T.V.

a trip to dan and becca's apartment taught me that it's been awhile since i t.v. shopped. apparently, i can get a flat screen HDTV for the price i paid for my non-HDTV three years ago. i think it's time to upgrade and move the other one to the basement.

4. DANCE CLASS & YOGA

with no tap dancing or musical theater to keep me in shape this summer, i MUST take action.  i already enjoy yoga, but i don't really do it to it's fullest very often.  maybe a camel pose or a downward dog here and there, but never a full amount of practice, which doesn't even really count.  so this summer there will be more yoga, because i really want to see and feel the effects, physically and mentally.

the other thing is dance class.  i've had the beautiful opportunity to watch some dance performances lately.  strong, powerful bodies twisting and stretching to express the story of a song.  bending and jumping, showing off nimble movement and astounding flexibility.  i remember EXACTLY how it feels.  

walking onstage and taking my pose, waiting nervously for the music to start, but feeling physically prepared.  as i hear the familiar melody take shape, i transcend.  i am existing to express a story, a musical line, a body part, a movement.  dancing is so beautiful.  it makes you strong and sculpts your muscles into stone.  it makes your eyes fill with tears as you feel the rhythm, music, and passion coincide into one verb.

i miss it so much.  i am thankful every. single. day. that i am a dancer. 

so this summer i am thinking about going back to my dance academy and taking a class or two.  the only thing is, i'm terrified.  terrified i will be horribly out of shape.  terrified of putting myself out there, of not knowing anyone.

anyone want to take a dance class with me?  i need moral support!

there are lots of other things, big and small on my summer agenda.  beer cap mosaic, road trip planning, walks in the park, finding a part-time job.

but for now, this is enough.  i don't want to overwhelm my summer with projects!  

first and foremost, summer will be about relaxing and purifying my physical and mental health.  but along with that, inevitably, will come fun in the warm summer air and productivity after a few days of boredom.

"so tedious is this day, as is the night before some festival to an impatient child that hath new robes and may not wear them." - shakespeare

in other words - how much longer until summer?!